Simply Nahala

Writer. Photographer. Soul Traveler.

Monday, October 7, 2013

I Am Present


My mind wanders. I get emotional. I worry about stuff. I get angry. I get resentful and wonder why so many pent up emotions. The last couple of weeks, I have been releasing old energy from my physical, emotional, and mental bodies. Much of the clearing has to do with past lives and my SACRAL CHAKRA, which is the center of creativity, relationships, sexuality, money, and sense of power in the world. This energy center teaches us to give and receive pleasure. The memories, the feelings, and visions keep coming in waves. I'm emotionally drained but realize the opportunity for great healing.

My lower abdomen where the sacral chakra is located is swollen, itchy, and inflamed. It feels like an abscess that needs to be drained. I have scratched the area raw. ITCHING is a sign from my body whether I'm aware of the emotions or not that I'm dealing with frustration, anger, and resentment. I have had many health issues in this area such as endometriosis and severe abdominal pain since the onset of my menstrual cycle. The dis-ease caused scaring on my fallopian tubes and resulted in two ectopic pregnancies and one near death experience. I have had several invasive procedures in this area such as laparotomies and exploratory surgeries through a laparoscope to help determine the cause of discomfort.

In my twenties, (I'm 43 now) I was told that most likely I would never by able to have any more children due to the scarring on my reproductive organs. During this time, I went through a divorce and a couple of years later had to have surgery again for another ectopic pregnancy. When my gynecologist opened me up, he discovered that I had absolutely no endometrial lesions in my peritoneal cavity. He was shocked and said that he even spent some extra time looking around due to my health history. I know now that leaving an unhealthy relationship helped my body to heal from an incurable dis-ease as well as starting to deal with other issues in my life. Consequently, I no longer suffer from abdominal pain or endometriosis.

Anger, fear, and judgement are directly related the sacral chakra. Old stuff is stored in this energy center such as cultural conditioning, violation of the body, and personal boundaries. I agree with Eckhart Tolle when he said, "Where there is anger, there is always pain underneath." Anger can be used to treat others badly or as a catalyst for change. I'm currently going through a major transformation in my life and all of the discomfort that I'm feeling is just a regurgitation of the emotions/energy stored in my cells that no longer serve me. When we are willing to work through painful experiences that have been dormant for years, the body is able to heal.

I share these personal experiences because I am human, and I know there is someone out there that can relate or benefit from this information. Many of us are not aware of how our emotions affect our physical body. It is so important to have this awareness because the path of recovery and healing involves detoxification where we purge the negative memories and beliefs that we continue to carry into the present. I highly recommend the documentary called May I Be Frank. The film documents ex-addict, Frank Ferrante's life for 42 days while he is coached physically, emotionally, and spiritually by earth angels from the vegan Cafe Gratitude. I was deeply moved by Frank's transformation and all the emotions that were released during such a brief period. 

So what am I doing to release these unhealthy emotions that are stuck in my lower abdomen? Most importantly, I'm not judging myself or denying how I'm really feeling at this time. I'm allowing the emotions to surface without resisting them. If I feel like crying, I let the tears flow. If I'm angry, I allow myself to be pissed off. If I'm sad, I sit with my sadness. I have been applying Peace and Calming essential oil from Young Living to my abdomen. I have also been clearing my chakras regularly with special attention to my sacral chakra. I visualize the orange ray cleansing the area, which stimulates movement of energy and brings warmth to the area. I ask for Divine healing and that all cell memory of anger, hurt, judgement, and resentment will be healed in all directions of time - past, present, and future. I just started applying a chickweed tincture to my abdomen in the morning and castor oil packs at night, and the itching is quickly subsiding. Castor oil is my go to miracle cure for so many things. I will be posting something on this very soon along with other alternative healing modalities that I use. Depending upon the intensity of the emotions, I may employ several forms of healing to release unhealthy patterns.

I've realized that when I'm living in fear, dwelling on the past or worrying about the future, I am not living in the present moment. Fear keeps us paralyzed, unable to let go and unable to move forward. It keeps us distracted and out of alignment with our Higher Selves. To step out of fear and into love requires surrendering to what is. So often, we resist or feel guilty for how we are really feeling. We may feel sad, jealous, angry, shameful, resentful, etc. Whatever the emotion, it is important to respect how we are feeling so we can acknowledge it, learn from it, and then LET IT GO. Most importantly, forgive ourselves and others. It is our greatest Divine gift.

All that matters is the present moment. We are no longer living in the past, we are not yet in the future, so why not be fully immersed in our current experience. I have been really working on this and it takes practice. Exhausted, I sank in my bed and all I could feel was the warmth and security it provides me. I am so grateful. My cat curled up next to my tummy the other evening and the vibration of her purring was so healing. I am so grateful. I spent the day with my husband. I am so grateful. I get to hang out with my daughters. I am so grateful. I felt such joy while working out in the yard yesterday. I am so grateful.

When I'm not living in the present, I'm living from a place of fear. Dwelling on the past or worrying about the "what if's" of the future. Are you paying attention to each scene in the movie of life or have you been distracted like me?

Living In The Present Moment,
Jan




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